Bia le haghaidh machnaimh

Food for Thought.

Slow Day.

After class, I went to sleep until 4:00 PM.  I was in dire need of food, so I went walking up and down the street.  I found a Chinese food place were I consumed hot and sour soup, spring rolls, and chicken chow mien.  When I finished my food, I walked out and noticed this adult store next door to the restaurant.  I went in searching for a “quicker picker upper” that will get me through the remaining five weeks without my heart, TPK. After walking aimlessly around the store for several minutes, the owner asked me if I needed help.  “Yes!  Something that’s powerful and quiet,” I replied.  He handed me a three inch three speed bullet.  It worked for me! Then he asked me if I was from America — Texas.  He was amazed because he lived in Santa Monica, CA for  6 years.  He met a Russian woman in the UK while she was on holiday (“vacation”)  and he fell in love and married her in Vegas.  As he began to get deep into the conversation, a patron/worker interrupted and said, “Hey! You’re talking to a pornstar!!”  I giggled because I thought he was just being mannish, but his words held truth. The owner pulled out a DVD with himself pictured in a submissive position, clad in his birthday suit and a pig mask.  I exclaimed, “Oh, wow! Can I take a picture with you?”  He agreed.  We posed for the picture and another gentleman happened to walk in the store. The third guy quickly started making dirty jokes when the owner asked for my contact information.  The light air started to turn cold, like I was moments away from being sold into sexual slavery.  I gave him my spam e-mail address and left out of there quickly. I didn’t even ask for a discount (which I’m sure I could have gotten).  Ever since I’ve been going places alone, I’ve been getting discounts everywhere!! The locals love me! Speaking of locals…

Random.

On my way home, this younger guy stopped me.  He said he wanted to try to get to know me.  (-_-)  #Bullshit.  Out of pure boredom, I entertained his foolishness.  I told him that I would test him. He appeared eager to hear what I had to ask.  So, I asked him what was the most romantic thing he’s done for a woman. He said he flew  his crush to South Africa and had a picnic on the beach. #Bullshit.  So, I told him he passed the test because I really wanted to see the “UK Game”  up close and personal.  He then went on this spiel about how he’s an actor (mind you, he’s clad in some charity paraphernalia with pamphlets in his hand while standing next to his coworker in the same attire).  I said, “ORLY?” He’s like yeah I want to get to know you and hopefully we can exchange contact details.  I burst his bubble and told him I had a boyfriend and I don’t need any new friends (*ques Drake*). His whole face went blank, like he was trying to think of a new strategy to get to me.  He then said that he’s a bit disappointed that he couldn’t get to America now. I told him he can still go to America because I certainly couldn’t be the reason that decision was hindered.  He said he loves America because we have the best food:  Corndogs and waffles.  I diiiiiied laughing. He was SO serious though.  He said he wanted to keep in touch and show me around the city since he knows fluent French (why does that matter?).  So, I gave him a fake e-mail address and kept it moving.  lol… Good times.

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